Finding a Hart Read online

  Table of Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Epilogue

  Extended Epilogue

  Finding a Hart

  Written by Kay Gordon

  Finding a Hart

  Published by Kay Gordon

  Copyright © 2018 by Kay Gordon

  All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  Cover Illustration and Design Copyright © 2018 by RO3D

  Warning: This book contains adult content that may be sensitive for some readers. It is not recommended for readers under eighteen-years-old.

  Dedication

  It doesn’t take much to become a parent.

  This book is dedicated to those take that role and privilege seriously whether biology is involved or not.

  Table of Contents

  Finding a Hart

  Dedication

  Table of Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Epilogue

  Extended Epilogue

  Acknowledgments

  Also by Kay Gordon

  Sneak Peek

  Playing with Fire: Chapter One

  About the Author

  Chapter One

  Stephanie

  “Vandalism. Really, Bettina?” I looked over at the girl sitting on the curb but she kept her arms folded and her gaze on her shoes.

  It was dark but the red and blue flashing lights illuminated her face enough for me to see the stubborn, defiant expression on it.

  They also allowed me to see the fear and vulnerability.

  When she didn’t give me any sort of response, I walked back over to where the police officers were standing with the two owners of the small Italian restaurant. That same restaurant now had pink, blue, and yellow painted all over the back wall in splotches that made no sense but were there just to be seen. To get attention.

  Despite living in the desert, Phoenix was chilly that evening. The January temperatures had been hovering around the mid-fifties during the day and dropping as low as the thirties at night. In that moment, it felt like I was going to freeze to death.

  “Are you pressing charges?” I asked the owners and watched as they exchanged a look. The man shrugged his shoulders and it was the woman who spoke up.

  “How old is she? Thirteen?”

  I shook my head. “Twelve.”

  “And you’re her social worker?” the man asked gruffly. “We’ve seen her in here several times with people we assumed were her parents. She’s in foster care?”

  “Yes, those are her foster parents.” I suppressed the tired sigh that was building in my chest. “She’s not a bad kid. She acts out when something big happens in her life and scares her. I’m not sure what it was this time but I know it had to be something huge. This is the first time she’s ever done something like this. Something illegal.”

  The woman reached out and grabbed the man’s hand while giving me a sad smile. “If she’ll clean up her mess, we won’t press charges.”

  Relief filled me and I had to fight to keep my face from showing it. I reached into my bag and pulled out a business card so I could hand it to the pair. “Oh, she will. Thank you so much.”

  We all shook hands and I walked back to where Bettina was. Settling on the curb next to her, I finally let the sigh escape and examined her profile from the side.

  Bettina Kelly had been one of my first cases when I had started my job five years before. At barely seven-years-old, she had already seen way too many things and experienced far too much heartbreak and betrayal, leaving her severely distrustful.

  I had removed her from her home with her mother and step-father and placed her with an amazing foster family. Bryson and Carin Lampkin had been facing infertility issues and were looking at fostering into adoption. They had both originally been looking for a younger child, an infant or a toddler, but they had accepted the too skinny, too frightened, and too defiant little girl into their home.

  And the adoration had ended up being completely mutual.

  They had spoken to me several times about adopting her but I was receiving a lot of push back from her biological mother. She didn’t want Bettina any more than she wanted the four other children she’d had taken from her over the years, but she refused to allow someone else to have her completely. It was a power struggle and I was still fighting with a judge to end it so Bettina could officially be a part of the Lampkin family.

  Years of therapy and years of love had finally taught Bettina to trust and her small outbursts of anger had tapered off.

  Until now.

  Her long, black hair fell around her like a curtain, hiding most of her face, but I caught a flash of her coffee colored eyes before she stared down at the pavement. She was still a slight little thing but in a healthy way. She had truly flourished in the years I’d known her.

  “Well, you owe me a huge Christmas present next year, Betts,” I said quietly, reaching over to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “You won’t be going to Durango tonight, so if getting a free stay in juvie was your goal, that’s too bad.”

  Her only response was to wipe her nose with the back of her hand. She was wearing a sweatshirt but I knew she had to be cold. Hell, my butt was a block of ice from sitting on that freezing curb for two minutes.

 
; “Okay, baby girl.” I softened my voice, losing all of the humor to let her know I was serious. “It’s time to talk. What’s going on?”

  When she reached up to wipe her nose again, it was accompanied by a sniffle and that’s when I realized she was crying. I dropped my arm across her shoulders and pulled her to my side.

  “Bettina.”

  “They’re having a baby,” she whimpered as a loud sob escaped her small body. She turned and gave me a frantic look. “They’re having a baby and they’re going to love it more than me. They’re going to send me away. I just know it.”

  She practically threw herself into my lap and buried her face into my shoulder while her body shook uncontrollably. I wrapped my arms around her tight and held her to me as she cried. I rubbed a hand down her back, feeling my heart break a little at the young girl’s insecurities.

  “Oh, Betts,” I murmured when her cries quieted down. “They aren’t going to send you away.”

  “They will. I’m not their real kid but this baby will be.”

  I pulled back and situated us so we were eye-to-eye. “You may not be their blood but you are their baby no matter what you think. They couldn’t possibly love you any more even if you were their blood.”

  She straightened up with a look of disbelief on her face but didn’t reply. I reached out and wiped away the tears that were on her cheeks.

  “Why did you do this, Bettina? I know you’re frustrated. I know you’re scared but you broke the law tonight. You’re lucky they aren’t pressing charges, kiddo. You’re going to have to clean up your mess.”

  “I hate this place,” she grumbled petulantly and I raised my brows.

  “What do you mean?”

  She gestured to the building behind us. “This stupid restaurant.”

  When she didn’t clarify why, I let it go and moved to my feet. “Be that as it may, you’re still in the wrong. You need to go and apologize to the owners so we can get you home.”

  The two of us walked back over to where the officer was still standing with the owners and I could see the shame on Bettina’s face when she finally looked up to apologize. It was a weak, quiet utterance but no one tried to force her to do more. I told them all we’d be in contact before thanking them and leading her to my SUV.

  We were both quiet as I drove and I didn’t say anything until we turned onto her street.

  “You should call me next time you’re mad or afraid, Bettina,” I told her, pulling into the driveway. “I would listen and be there for you, kiddo. I could help and you wouldn’t get in trouble.”

  Her only reply was to nod but I didn’t push it. It wouldn’t do any good.

  The porch light was on but the house was dark, which was to be expected since it was almost midnight. Bettina scuffled behind me as we moved up the pathway and she stared at her feet when I rang the doorbell twice.

  It took about a minute and a half before a light turned on inside and the door creaked open. A bleary-eyed man stood in front of me with a confused expression on his face.

  “Stephanie?” I knew the second Bryson caught sight of the girl behind me because his eyes widened. “Bettina? What’s happened? What’s wrong? Come inside, both of you.”

  I followed her in and Bryson closed the door behind us. Carin appeared at the top of the stairs and panic filled her features when she caught sight of the two of us. She rushed down stairs and put her hands on Bettina’s shoulders while frantically inspecting her foster daughter.

  “What happened? Are you hurt?”

  “Let’s sit down,” Bryson suggested, gesturing to the sitting area while trying to contain his worry. Bettina sat on the couch and I took the spot next to her while Carin sat in the armchair facing us. Bryson perched himself on the armrest and looked at us expectantly. I sighed and rubbed my eyes.

  “I received a call shortly after ten from the police informing me that Bettina had been caught vandalizing Mario’s on Camelback Road. She had about six cans of spray paint on her and had used half of them to decorate the side. The restaurant had just closed but the owners were still inside and caught her red handed.”

  Both parents gasped simultaneously but it was Carin who spoke. “Why would you do something like that? Especially Mario’s. That’s our place, Bettina!”

  “No, it’s not!” Bettina yelled, moving to her feet. “It was our place but you ruined it! Why couldn’t you have taken me somewhere else to tell me that you were going to have a real family? What’s next? You take me to the zoo to tell me that you’ve packed my stuff to send me back?”

  The room went completely silent.

  Bettina’s face was bright red and she had tears streaking down her cheeks that mirrored the ones on Carin’s face, which now showed heartbreak rather than anger. Bryson looked stricken, too, and I could tell they were both completely shaken up. He gripped his wife’s shoulder and cleared his throat.

  “Bettina, we don’t need this baby to make us a real family. The three of us are as real as it gets in our hearts. The baby just adds to our family.”

  “He or she won’t take away any of our love for you, sweetheart.” Carin’s voice wavered in an attempt to keep it together. “There’s enough love for both of you. You will always be our first baby and we wouldn’t trade you for the world.”

  Bryson nodded his head in agreement. “You’re not going anywhere no matter how many buildings you spray paint or how angry you get at us, Bettina Kelly. You’re our daughter and you are stuck with us.”

  Bettina’s lip quivered and she looked like the scared little girl I had met all those years before. On a sob, she launched herself at her parents until she was in Bryson’s arms. The two of them hugged her between them and the girls both cried. I felt tears forming in my own eyes and had to blink several times to keep them back.

  After the crying had settled down, I cleared my throat and stood from the couch. “The owners agreed not to press charges but Bettina will be responsible for clean-up. They’ll call me in the morning so we can discuss logistics.”

  “Of course.” Bryson let go of his family and moved to wrap me in a hug. “Thank you for being there for her, Stephanie. We’re so grateful to have you.”

  “I’ll always be there.” I opened my arms to Bettina once Bryson had stepped back and she flew towards me, giving me a hug so tight that I could barely breathe.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered and I just held her a bit tighter.

  “Don’t always assume the worst, Betts. Talk to us.” I pulled us apart and stared down at her. “We love you, kiddo. You need to remember that.”

  Carin gave me a hug, too, and I finally left their house shortly before one. I knew that we hadn’t solved everything but I felt hopeful. If Bettina just realized how much she was loved and stopped seeing herself as expendable, she wouldn’t feel the need to act out when something scared her.

  After I was back in my SUV, I drove home and thanked the traffic gods for granting me as many green lights as they did. The little house that that I shared with my best friend, Alyssa, was in an older part of Phoenix and perfect for the two of us. With just two rooms, it wasn’t much bigger than most apartments but she had rented it right out of college. When my longtime boyfriend Troy and I had broken up almost a year before, she hadn’t hesitated to offer up the extra bedroom to me.

  Despite it being more than a week into January, the Christmas lights were still hanging from the gutters. Between how much the two of us worked, I knew I was going to have to call my brother to see if he’d swing by and take them down. The only reason they were even up was because he had taken a whole Saturday afternoon to do it in the first place.

  I pulled into the garage next to my roommate’s car and trudged inside moments later. The kitchen was dark but a light was on in the living room. I dropped my bag onto the kitchen table, kicked off my heels near the door, grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, and headed towards where I could hear the TV playing.

&nb
sp; My best friend since we were ten-years-old, Alyssa Hogan, was sitting on the cream-colored couch with her legs folded under her. Her hair was pulled up into a ponytail and she was in her pajamas with her Kindle in her lap. The infomercial on the TV told me she had long since stopped paying attention to the programming.

  My friend was definitely a looker. She and I had grown up sharing clothes since she was only about an inch shorter than me and our body types were about the same. Where my hair was golden blonde, hers was the perfect shade of coppery red and it fell down her back in soft, natural waves. Her eyes were a bright blue color that almost looked unnatural and stood out on her face. She was beyond gorgeous and it wasn’t fair.

  “Hey,” I said, falling onto the couch next to her with a sigh. She held her finger up without looking at me and I watched as she continued reading for another minute or so. When she made it to a stopping point, Alyssa turned off the screen of her tablet and smiled at me.

  “You’re home late again. How was work?”

  “Another day in paradise.” I grabbed the remote and changed the channel to an old episode of Full House. “Remind me why I don’t quit my job and become a stripper? It seems easier.”

  She grinned and dropped her head to my shoulder. “Because you love making a difference in those kids’ lives. Plus, even though you have a bangin’ body, you have absolutely no rhythm. You have exactly two dance moves: the Macarena and twerking and neither would make it rain. You’d be a terrible stripper.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh and Alyssa joined in. Between the image of me trying to dance as a stripper and my exhaustion, I laughed so hard that tears streamed down my face. When our laughter finally tapered off, I stood from the couch.

  “I have to be to work in eight hours. I’m going take this uncoordinated, bangin’ body to bed.”

  Alyssa grinned at me and reached for her Kindle. “Dinner tomorrow?”

  “Nope.” I took a long drink of my water. “Troy has that dinner with ASU tomorrow night.”

  “You know that you’re not his girlfriend anymore, right? You don’t have to go to those things.”